Drug Tsars - 2 simple truths

Much has been said about the sacking of Professor Nutt from his role as chairman of the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs. I want simply to make two observations.

Firstly, that it is not the government's role to tell an individual how to use their spare time. We own our bodies (surely?) and so should be allowed to do what we want with them.

If I want to cause myself harm I should be allowed to.

I completely accept that causing myself harm on a regular basis is a poor life choice. It is a poor life choice that I should be at liberty to indulge.

J. S. Mill's harm principle seems pertinent:
'Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign... The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant. '

Drug taking is like drinking alcohol or telling lies to friends: not ideal, particularly in excess, but none of the state's business.

Secondly, a debate must centre on the facts so as to provide a coherent policy. I've yet to hear a politician from the Labour or Conservative parties provide a coherent facts-based argument as to why certain drugs should be prohibited.

I've never heard one argue why alcohol and tobacco should be treated differently to other drugs, when the science says they are more dangerous than illegal drugs like ecstasy and LSD.

I've heard an awful lot of emotive language about drugs wrecking lives and communities, but never seen a study to support this. It's a big claim. One that is almost certainly wrong. Drugs may act as an accelerant to social decay but it is never the cause.

Evidence-based policy is necessary.

Between Love and Hate

You have to proactively shape your life. You're not going to see the results you want unless you perform actions which lead to those results.

Earlier I was asked to perform a little mind experiment. I was asked to imagine my life in 20 years time if I continued behaving as I am now. Do not allow for any improvement of character or action. Just honestly and objectively consider how you'll end up aged 40/50/60. How happy will you be? Who will your friends be? Will you have a wife/husband? What will they be like? Where will you live? What will you be doing for a living?

Do this now. Be honest because nobody else is going to know and if you can't be honest with yourself I know how you will end up. Unhappy. Unfulfilled. Be objective. Don't run this game with all your thoughts, hopes and feelings. This will skew it to the positive. You'll think,

"I'm not doing this now... I know I've wanted to do it for ages so Ill do it soon". And deep down inside you'll think, "I have wanted to change this about me for ages.. if I havent done there's a reason and I fear I might never...".

So empty those out. Accept, for a few seconds at least, that you're not a special little snowflake. You're a human.

Play the game.

So

...content yourself with mediocrity. Tell yourself that's enough and feel it deep down. I hope you can't.

"All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy. " Scott Alexander.

This truth is so simple and Im sure a lot of people would scoff a little and then go on to continue to suffer the banality of their existence. I've really come to learn that hard times are good. Because they are hard. They form character. That which doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

If you CHOOSE to become stronger.

And there's a really good reason for choosing hard over easy (are you recoiling at the prospect of hard? Does it make you feel uneasy or uncomfortable... revealing, huh!?). It builds confidence. Part of being a real man or woman is trusting in yourself to get through things. It's being shit scared of something, knowing you will probably fail AND DOING IT IF ANYWAY.

Once you become accustomed to doing that you learn really quickly. Once you know that you can get shit handled your brain subconsciously picks up on that (with no additional effort) and allows you to try new things.

And notice how trying new things and confidence will be crucial to ensuring you don't live the life you're gonna lead in the game. Beat the game. Trust in yourself. Get shit handled. It's down to you and only you.

Back to the game earlier. It really scared me. I am so fucking psyched right now. If I was like I am now in 1 year I'd be really disappointed. So in 20 years. The mental scramble is there. Go. Like a thunderbird. GO!

Now answer the question, "What should I be doing right now?".

Somehow you know. Somehow you know that the best you would be doing something different other than watching a youtube video and reading a blog. What should you be doing?

Go do it.

One minority group that should have no rights and should be gassed

Fleas. I fucking hate fleas. So I'm home for ONE WEEK and there are fleas everywhere. And they suck your blood.

Only gypsies get fleas and now we have them. They're really easy to catch but they lay dozens of eggs a day and the eggs are indestructable. Like batman. UGHHHHHHHH.

Im writing this in the library so I dont have to write it at home and it's cringe worthy. Even the guy next to me thinks so.

You go to sleep and you feel them crawling on you. You wake up and pull back the covers and there they are gorged with blood, too fat to move. My dad says they shit blood. Any creature that shits blood hibitually is a dirty fucking sket and doesnt deserve life.

Im so happy the guy from the council is coming tomorrow to gas them. Im slightly reserved because he can't guarantee the work done in my room or the living quarters because there are floor boards.

I would go on but this blogpost does far more justice to what a repellant form of life they are: http://www.jasoncandoit.com/2009/06/i-can-tell-you-about-fleas.html

My cat is currently locked in the men's toilet of the restaurant and is being kept there until she dies in her flea pit. My dad calls he a 'sac a pus' : a flea bag. The funny thing is, now the little bitch has been treated the fleas dont go on her. She smells funny. Which isnt news to anyone. And also, I SMELL BAD. I smell like mouldy potatoes and still the little fuckers bite me. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?

From all this I deduce there is no God.

Good day.

And if you're reading this and know the restaurant Im talking about above, all the competition have AIDS. I know: I gave it them.

Calling all Jews..!

...Muslims, Christians, Sikhs, Buddhists, Atheists, Tits, and Rock stars...

1) Last Sunday I went to B&Q. It was a strange sensation as I wasn't following my dad around. I went by myself. Not to peruse but to buy. I went to buy paint.



I LOVE paint. More than paint I love the colours. Whenever I went as a kid I would pick up a catalogue with all seven hundred and infinity colours that dulux do and decide which ones were my favourite. I had favourite shades of lime green.

So I walk through to the pain mixing desk. I am the only one waiting. There are three people behind the desk. One of them is incompetent and the other two look like they've done well to get dressed and stand upright. I stand and wait. I wait some more. I have 36 hours to have the house cleaned before we have to move out. My Landlord believes it's his place to offer me spiritual healing so that I get a 1st in my degree and claims to have played the bongos and the accordion to The Beatles. That is all you need to know about him.

And still I wait.

Eventually I ask how to get some paint mixed.

"You wait here until we're ready to see you."

I sit up on the desk, crossed-legged. They are slightly bemused by this and pretend not to notice. People come and go. I think one old man waited so long his time came and went in the queue. Squirrels had time to evolve capes and eventually wings so they can fly places instead of running.

And then I was served. And you know what? It was so fucking worth it. They have a machine which adds the precise shade of paint using lasers (it's not actually lasers but cant we just pretend?) and then they put it in what looks like a microwave which shakes the pain about. It looks like an epileptic fit. And then...

Voila! It's done. Perhaps the people who work at Cricklewood's B&Q have been experimenting by placing their heads inside. This would explain a few things and to be honest, I don't blame them. It looks fun.

So I get home after 2 hours and the paint's the wrong colour. I walk to another store and am home within half an hour with the right paint.

You can do it when you B&Q it.

2) I moved out of my house on Tuesday evening. I arrive home from a day working at the UCL Summer School. I pour myself a glass of water. I leave the room. I check my things are ready. My aunt calls to say she's 2 minutes away. I enter the room. I pick up my pint glass. I take a swig. I

WHAT THE FUCK



T, who has been fantastic in cleaning all weekend, lets out a mumble,

"Oh dont drink that honey it's disinfectant!"

KKCCCCCHHHHHAAARRRRRRRRRRRCHHHHHHHHHH

"Oh NO!"

KKKKKKKKKCCCCCCHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOPPP

When you are dehydrated and you swig water just to hydrate yourself it goes straight down.
When you are dehydrated and you swig disinfectant to hydrate yourself it goes straight down.

2 minutes later there's a knock on my door and my aunt's there with a taxi waiting to pick stuff up. The timer is running and Im holding my throat like Ive been giving head to the Jolly Green Giant. URGH.

Bags are thrown in the taxi and every time I breathe I can feel disinfectant. Every now and then my stomach lets out a moan and I blow bubbles out my mouth. Im starting to feel queasy. Ugh.

My aunt is trying to get through to NHS direct but they are overloaded with calls about swine flu. I get to my aunt's place with all my bags. I burst through the door and her flatmate Helene is there. I stumble through the door, take down water and excuse myself to shove fingers down my throat. Having emptied Kate Moss' annual calorie intake into the toilet I exit, compose myself and walk out,

"Hi Im Paul! Nice to meet you.."

"It's LETHAL TO SMALL MAMMALS AND AQUATIC BIRDS!" my aunt shouts through.

"Um...k... Ill just go stand on one leg and peck at worms in a pink tutu, then..?"

My Aunt phones 999 and the paramedic comes. Fortunately the whole saga becomes worth it as the nurse who sees me is a pretty young thing who gives me a pleasing halfway between a massage and a jolly good thrashing, flirts brazenly (memorably telling me I should be thankful there were no blisters in my mouth before showing me exactly where those blisters would have been with her tongue) and assures me I'll be just fine.

Whilst waiting for the all clear in reception, a young muslim man sits down. He is thin, with a gentle face and not much of an extremist beard. I would definitely let him look after my kittens whilst Im on holiday.

And he's handcuffed to the sigma x / n of all fat, beer quaffing, pub bastards. And has two large black guys in uniform with him. Over the course of the next half hour it gradually becomes clear that he's definitely maybe killed a few kittens (and maybe their unsuspecting owners) and his gauntness comes from a prison diet of soda bread and buggery. He is particularly proud of the prison celebrities he's seen (Abu Hamza, Ian Huntley...) and chats away quite aimiably.

How do you end a story about convicts and students who swallow disinfectant?

3) Human Rights... Gosh, arent they terrible?

This article is so sickeningly innaccurate it makes me even more sick than I am now (see point 4).

For a start it implies support for Jack Straw in his belief that some humans aren't worthy of Human Rights. Because Human Rights arent really for Humans. They're for the white middle classes. ?? The notion of Human Rights has not been entirely uncontroversial. Jeremy Bentham called them "Nonsense upon stilts..". But objection to Human Rights (or even the Human Rights Act 1998 - henceforth HRA) must be based on more than wilful lies.

I can barely believe I need to make some of the points below.

First, the myth that "The ‘human rights’ culture has done serious and fundamental damage to traditional English liberties". OK. So "habeas corpus", the right of an individual to their person which has been around in the English common law since at least the early 1300s is not a traditional English liberty? Fortunately I will show below how not only is this claim false but the opposite is the case: Jack Straw, in a long line of idiot politicians claiming to protect us against terrorism, have done more to erode the fundamental rights of citizens traditionally enshrined by English law.

Secondly, the HRA is undemocratic as it comes down to judges to interpret the HRA. What the fuck? Do these morons understand that democracies rely on a separation of powers in order to exist as anything but oppressive regimes? Whenever power is too heavily concentrated it inevitably leads to abuses of power. In any event, who the fuck else is going to decide on court cases: politicians? Or are the people going to elect judges now? I cant believe Im answering this point. I would honestly be tempted to scrap the HRA if only so I could ban the Daily Mail for being so wilfully stupid.

Parliament isn't being "usurped" by judges. Judges only ever have the right to interpret a) statutes passed by Parliament and b) Common law, if and only if, there are no relevant statutes. So let's get this straight. Parliament passes a statute and then gets angry that this statute exists. And then it's the judges' fault. Sometimes the idiocy of politicians gets me. We should just make Page 3 models eligible to run for Parliament cos at least then there'd be more women MPs.

"This gives enormous power to the unelected judges to wade into areas of controversy that should properly be the province of politicians – such as the issue of privacy, where judges are hell-bent on creating a law precisely because politicians have chosen not to do so."

This is fucking ridiculous. Maybe the fever is getting to me, but are they really saying here that politicians don't create any law, and instead of obeying the 1000 year old principles of the common law (something that makes British law uniquely rich and interesting) and create new (appealable and indeed, repealable by Parliament) law through their decisions, the courts should not come to a conclusion on cases that the Daily Mail doesnt want them to? They havent even commented on which types of cases the courts shouldnt decide on. This is so, so inadequate in many ways that are so obvious I won't even list all of them.

The most obviously wrong point is that politicians have created a law on privacy. It's called the Human Rights Act 1998.

Thirdly, this stupid point:

"And lastly and most fundamental of all, the very idea of setting down in statute what rights we have runs absolutely counter to the foundational principle of English common law and the unique principle of liberty it enshrines – that everything is permitted unless it is expressly forbidden."

OK, so having ignored English Common law up to this point suddenly someone in the back office has told the writer it exists so the imbecile fudges a point around it. The HRA creates obligations for STATE INSTITUTIONS i.e. PUBLIC BODIES. It does not affect the way individuals should behave towards each other. If I torture you I have not, according to the HRA, breached your human rights. i have commited a criminal offence. If the government torture me then they have breached my human rights. English Common law has always sought to restrict the actions of government over the people. In fact one of the best things about the English Common law is how well it has protected the liberty of the individual from the oppressive forces of the state.

Finally, and this is what I really want to go wild on, we have:

‘human rights’ has become a judicial weapon in the hands of every minority group under the sun to beat up on the majority culture, turning rights and wrongs and common sense itself on their heads.

Human rights should matter to us all. They prevent the incremental creep of repressive laws. It is not the courts we should be afraid of. it never has been in the UK (the judiciary are probably my favourite thing about the UK, no exageration). Let's look at this in concrete terms. As the Daily Mail insists on using minority groups and terrorists as examples of people the HRA helps, let's look at how successive governments have used these minority groups as an excuse to slowly clamp down on our civil liberties.

Until the early 1970s if you were arrested you could only be detained for 24 hours. Habeas Corpus was key. This is the right to your own person. Pretty basic stuff, here. You could only be searched if a police officer has reasonable suspicion that you had commited a crime (i.e. not randomly, which btw hits minorities harder and so exarcebates crime). If there wasn't enough evidence after 24 hours to bring you before a judge then you had to be released. For hundreds of years this has worked well.

In 1974 two bombs went off in pubs in the centre of Birmingham. At the time this was the worst terrorist attack in the UK (only surpassed by the recent 7/7 bombings). At the time the government proposed a temporary anti-terrorist measure whereby you could be detained for 7 days without reasonable suspicion. Everyone thought this was a jolly good idea, because gosh aren't those terrorists naughty people and I won't ever be stopped so it's fine!

In 1984 a law was passed so that anyone suspected of commiting a serious crime, regardless of the evidence obtained (so not really reasonable suspicion then) could be detained for 5 days.

The Public Order Act 1986 allows for you to be stopped and searched for offensive weapons without reasonable suspicion. We can already see standards slipping.

After September 11th the government pushed through a law which allowed anyone suspected of being a terrorist to be detained for 14 days without charge. Remember that pre 1974 reasonable suspicion was required. Now it's pretty haphazard. Terrorism is such a threat, the government would say, that individual liberties must be curtailed.

Since then 14 days has doubled to 28 days.

Since then the government tried to push it up further to 90 days. Only the unelected (so the Daily Mail would hate them) House of Lords prevented this from happening.

If 28 days is required it's because a lot of evidence needs to be gathered to bring a case against the accused. This means there is a big gap between the now and being convinced that someone is guilty of a crime. This raises the pertinent question, why are you detaining them at all in the first place? On a whim?

Again what we are seeing is the creep of repressive laws. The "exceptional" powers invoked by the government gradually become the norm.

Anyone could be locked up for 28 days and then released without charge. Imagine the effect that would have on you, your family and any dependents you had. This has happened to lots of people already.

The fact is you probably (particularly if you're white) don't think this would happen to you so you aren't to bothered. Firstly, note how this creates a sense of disillusionment and mistrust in minorities (particularly at the moment among muslims) which will only have the effect of increasing crime. Secondly, either it could affect you and you're worried or only those muslism scumbag terrorists in which case it is an effectively racist law. Thirdly, watch the creep. I'm reminded of the Niemoller poem about the passiveness of German intellectuals amid the rise of nazism in Germany. It applies here, I think:

In Germany, they came first for the Communists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist;

And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist;

And then they came for the Jews, And I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew;

And then... they came for me... And by that time there was no one left to speak up."

If history has a purpose then here it is.

Note also how it protects us all. The right to have a private wedding is enshrined in Article 8. Catherine Zeta Jones and her very old husband are happy for that. They arent poor. They arent racial minorities. They're famous!

Neomi Campbell was protected from having treatment she was receiving for drug addiction being splashed across the tabloids.

It ruled, before British law recognised that homosexuals could feel love, that gay couples living as a married couple would receive ownership of their partner's belongings should they die.

They love the Human Rights Act and so should you!

So what of terrorism? How do we deal with the very real the posed by terrorism?

Well it's not sending terror suspects off to their home countries to be tortured. It is right that the UK government has a positive obligation not to send terror suspects back to countries where it believes they will be tortured.

It is also clear that control orders do not work. A control order limits the movement of an individual. Their passport is stripped from them. It is essentially like being in prison but without having to be on high alert every time you drop the soap. The highest courts in the land have repeatedly found them to to violate Article 5, the right to liberty. A week ago it was ruled unanimously by the House of Lords (this is a rare thing indeed) that control orders violate the Article 3 right to a fair trial as the defendant is not given enough time to prepare their defence having finally been informed of the charge being brought against them. The courts have been emphatic time and time again that they do not work and must be scrapped. Finally they are all under review.

Thank you judges, yee who are "undemocratic" because you dont have to pander the the public's every wish!

How to deal with the problem of adducing evidence?
Every other Western state allows the admission of intelligence gained through wire tapping. If kept under control this is a far less intrusion of a fundamental right than the violation of habeas corpus. Detention or being listened in on? If one of these has to go to prevent terrorist atrocities I know which I would choose. The UK must make the intelligent choice. It is either that or succumb to the populist idiocy of the Daily Mail.

The choice is really quite clear. Liberty trumps all.

4) I have swine flu.

Gut feelings and Bombs

Housemate 3.14 studies biology. As he announces he's off to the library to study I ask him to get me a good read. The kind of riveting read that only a science library can throw up. God I love photosynthesising bio-molecular agents. It's how Spiderman came to be.

Instead he waltzes into the kitchen with a copy of "The Single Helix" by Steve Jones. Steve Jones has the most boring name. It denotes the kind of boring, clichéd guy who works 9-5 in a Fake Plastic Office, reads The Sun, never washes his hands after using a urinal and says "buddy" and "fair dos" a lot. He probably lives in Surrey.

Also the book is called "The Single Helix". A world of nerdery awaits.

"Thanks Housemate 3.14".

The first surprise about this book is that Steve Jones is a professor at my uni and one of the world's most respected biologists.
The second surprise is that considering he made his reputation studying snails he is actually a very engaging author.
The third surprise about this book is that it is not really a book but a collection of articles he wrote for a national newspaper. He's like Bill Bryson but without the fun name. Jeremy Clarkson but without the trumpet.
The fourth surprise of this book is that it's fucking amazing and you should buy it.

If you don't like reading then go to a bookshop and read the chapter entitled "Seeing with Bullets". And it might help if you divert your eyes from this blog cos there are lots of words... and LETTERS... and there's stuff to READ, OH...MY...GOD... you uncultured swine. Pfft.

The chapter in question explores Neuro-Philosophy. Dripping with sex appeal, isn't it?

If you're still with me you have a slightly sadistic streak because dude... it's Neuro-Philosophy. N-P seeks to explain consciousness in terms of science. So it's a mixture of Philosophy of Mind and Neuroscience. All very clever. All very ambitious. To my mind there is no bigger, more interesting, more challenging question for science and philosophy to tackle.
What came as a surprise to me is that we are making progress.

Wars, as Steve Jones explains, are terrible things. They are the ultimate in human destruction. Nobody loves war. There is always a preferred way out even when we accept war as being necessary. And yet for scientists wars prove particularly fruitful. Because of the competitive nature of war it encourages innovation. A suitable technological breakthrough can bring you victory.

There are also benefits to medical science. A lot was learned about the immune system from trying to perform skin grafts in World War II. Similarly, the freak injuries that people receive in battle (because we should have less wars, and more battles: I'd definitely not be so wary of plundering other countries if it was sold as being a battle... The Battle of Basra....sick one mate, let's do it!) allow us to understand a lot about the human body. We can survive without limbs. Infectious diseases spread rapidly in minging conditions. Even the chilling experiments conducted on people by the Nazis.

What has war got to do with Neurophilosophy? Well, it's funny you ask because I was just about to tell you.

During World War II many people got shot in the head. Brilliantly many of these people survived despite having had permanent damage caused to certain parts of the brain. Being shot in the back of the head will mess with your vision. What scientists realised to their complete surprise is that many of these people could detect colour and position despite not being able to see.

To simplify, nerves which run from the eye to the brain end up in two neural locations. One of these is responsible for converting the light that hits your retina into an image. This is us "seeing". Look around you and all that you see is being created by one part of your brain. However this is just an image. Your awareness of what is happening is being processed by a different part of the brain. What's interesting is these processes run in parallel, rather than in series, so the disruption of one of these neural regions can leave the other completely unaffected.

So when these poor fellows got shot in the back of the head all that was affected was their ability to create images of the world around them rather than their ability to use the light around them to sense what is going on. They had 'blindsight'.

This phenomenon has been supported by many studies since.

Isn't this incredible? You can know about things of which you are not consciously aware. There are millions of individual pieces of information that we are capable of distinguishing at any one moment. We only consciously process 7 (plus or minus 2) of these. So every day we consciously focus on tens of thousands of things (the sounds of a car passing, our friend waving, the smell of bacon) and many billions of pieces of information are filtered out. It seems like often they are genuinely screened out. A lot of it though is processed unconsciously. If, like me, you have a habit of walking dangerously close to lamp posts before swerving at the last second without consciously having understood that a lamppost was even there, then you have experienced the glory of the unconscious mind. Our ability to process information unconsciously is thought to be the reason we learn so quickly. Ties are made unconsciously, so even if we have not made the link consciously it is there like a large library waiting for the right piece of information to be picked from the shelves of the unconscious mind.

Our unconscious mind is also surely where our gut feelings come from. When we use our intuition to make a decision we are using our unconscious mind. I consider myself to be heavily intuitive and what's more, to have made the leap from being strongly analytic to strongly intuitive in 5 years. Is it true to say I have just learnt to use my unconscious mind more and my conscious mind less?

Hypnosis seems to be the closing of the conscious mind and the flowering of the unconscious mind. Meditation is simply switching off the conscious, analytic mind and turning up the intuitive, unconscious mind.

There is clearly a lot of work to be done in Neuro-Philosophy. The stakes are high. We have a peep hole into consciousness and (as James Crick thought) the soul.

Isn't biology great?

Paradise

Everybody's trying to get to Paradise
Some people say that they've been there before
They all tell me the grass is green in Paradise
And they all long to step back through its door
But what the door might look like they're unsure
Not one of them knows what they're looking for

There's some who try to charm their way to Paradise
To get there with a smooth tongue and fine style
But hook-nose gargoyles bar the way to Paradise
Sat there like stones unmoving all the while
Impervious to every kind of smile
When charmers choke they dine upon their bile

I knew a man who tried to fly to Paradise
He made his wings from pigeon backs and wax
I asked him if he knew the way to Paradise
He laughed and said he'd follow angel tracks
Not knowing angels hunt in snarling packs
Or that they drown his kind in leather sacks

Some people seek to pray their way to Paradise
They think that they'll get in by saying please
They say their fathers wait for them in Paradise
And they wait for their carriage on their knees
They're clustered up in church like swarms of bees
On course to join the earth and feed the trees

Some claim that they will work their way to Paradise
They babble about towers and machines
You might think they had never heard of Paradise
To my mind they just don't know what it means
They never trade their cows for magic beans
Believing magic comes from magic screens

Some even think to fight their way to Paradise
When they get there they plan to storm the walls
Then fly their favourite flags on top of Paradise
And leave its wonders wrecked by cannonballs
When from the ruins some survivor crawls
They'll wreck him too, explaining 'duty calls'

A preacher cries 'I know the way to Paradise,
It's set down here in paper, ink and stone!'
Reads loudly from a book describing Paradise
In what sounds very like a threatening tone
And those who listen don't feel so alone
But I for one would rather write my own

I'm told some people love their way to Paradise
Perhaps they walk there in each other's shoes
If told their lovers couldn't come to Paradise
I often wonder which path each would choose
But I have heard a whisper from the Muse
That Paradise is better loved in twos

It's true I've tried to write my way to Paradise
I crafted clever lines to light my road
But I got lost along the way to Paradise
And I was weighed down by my lettered load
I followed my inventions where they flowed
Became distracted and my progress slowed

At last it seemed I'd never get to Paradise
I'd just signed my surrender when it hit:
What if we all could think our way to Paradise?
Or better still from ourselves conjure it?
Twin lanterns in my eyes were promptly lit
And I began constructing mine to fit

With my dreams I will build myself a Paradise
Behind the stained-glass windows of my face
'Cause anyone can build themselves a Paradise
When they stop searching for some distant place
We all win when we see there is no race
And Paradise lies in the mind's embrace


Check it: http://www.invisibledragon.co.uk/creators.html

Talkin' About A Revolution

Who am I?

This is the broadest, most vague question. You can answer this however you like. There are no limits. No right, no wrong. You can respond with a colour. A memory. A sight. Or in a more orthodox manner like me. Whatever comes up for you when you ask yourself the question, "Who am I?".

I am a dynamic, resourceful, intelligent, adaptable maniac. I am full of contradictions. I am happy with these contradictions. Things don't need to make sense. I am strongly intuitive. I would be happy living in a cave in Turkmenistan by myself and yet I find human company the most re-energising experience.
I cannot be put in a box. I am fluid and dynamic. I'm hot and cold. I'm values-driven and will not compromise these values. My favourite food is spaghetti bolognese.
I like long walks on the beach. Conformity for conformity's sake is soul destroying.
I care.

What am I grateful for?

These things arent necessarily capable of being true or false. They relate mostly to things out of your control or in the past.

- Good genes. I believe I was given a supreme genetic advantage in life. Im mixed race, with a fast metabolism, all my senses working and an athletic body.
- I live in the Western World where we have so many opportunities afforded us. In the UK we have an excellent health care system, a good climate, and good weather and landscapes (no monsoons or earthquakes).
- An excellent childhood where my intellect was nurtured - I was always encouraged to read and given assistance academically - and a great grounding in culture - from food to music to books to plays. We had dinner times altogether where I was encouraged to speak my mind and we debated philosophy, politics, life, love and sex openly.
- Having duel nationality - English and French. When England lose, France win and when France lose.... fuck it, I speak English!
- Growing up in a bilingual household.
- Growing up in London, a diverse and exciting environment.

What do I value?

Which experiences, places, people, attitudes, objects, thoughts, beliefs do you value most? Which enrich your life? What makes your life worth living?

- I value my friends and family. I value my health. Nothing else really matters. It's all dust and wind.
- I enjoy playing football and watching football and rugby. I tried to play rugby at school. Rugby played me. Internazionale are my team. I support France in sport.
- My values, beliefs and principles are the most important things in the world to me.
- I believe in giving. Giving is always better than receiving. Except head.
- I live for the sun. I get sad when there isn't enough sunlight. I think I photosynthesise.
- Sex.
- Rock'n'roll. Muse, Matt Bellamy, Radiohead, Jonny Greenwood, The Strokes, Julian Casablancas, New York City Cops, Muse live, Daft Punk, Electro House, Take it Or Leave It. Proper fuckin Rocknroll. And Stereophonics + Definitely Maybe. And The Clash. And Dizzee Rascal. I dont know what ID do without his positive energy.

What do I want out of life?

Well?

In many ways this is a false question for me: the question is 'What can I give?'

I want a challenging, varied job. I want to start my own business. I want the world's best wife and children out of whose asses the sun shines. I want to be well off but money isn't a primary concern.
I want to continue growing.

Until I'm THIS tall.

I want to win. I want to always get whatever I want.

How do I work?

How do your emotions work? How do you learn? How do you get the best out of yourself?

I am incredibly competitive. I hate to lose. I love winning. Winning isn't enough though. I don't dwell on victories. They are to be expected. Onwards and upwards. I win for me. I don't need or want other people to know. I get more out of myself if I create a siege mentality. Me against the world. Me and my team against the world.
I learn by listening rather than by reading or seeing. I like to debate because that's how I internalise things. I speak to myself.
I have a few pressure points. Genuinely trying to put someone down because of who they are makes my blood pressure rise very quickly. This includes racism, sexism and bullying weaker people.

What standards do I hold myself to with regard to others?

How should you treat others?

Everyone is human. I see the best in everyone. I look for the positive intention behind every act rather than the negative outcome. So long as noone has crossed a personal boundary (see below) I afford people total respect. I dont judge people. I try to make people feel at ease.

Once someone is comfortable in my presence I will push to see where their boundaries are. This is natural. I want to know what I'm faced with. Why are they alive? What do they value? Who are they? I can be purposely inflammatory to find out how cool someone is. In fact the quickest way to screen out those who are going to be a drain on my time is by testing their boundaries straight away. "OIIIIIIIIIIII MINGER" is the bane of my friend's life. Their complaints are unfair. I also raise overtly sexual topics early on, tell them I love them and ask them if they like Muse. These things are important to me. If someone can't handle being probed even slightly then they aren't solid enough to hang out with. Plus a boy's gotta have his fun.

I never knock other people's dreams.

What standards do I have with myself?

I treat myself increasingly like I am the shit. Because, to be frank, I am. I'm fucking insane. Im Lindor and Tropical Islands rolled into one. 

I expect the best from myself. Anything less is inexcusable. I don't dwell on successes. Next goal please.

I'm getting into the meat and veg section of my life now. Work : Play ratio is shifting.

What standards do I expect of others towards me?

I expect the respect I accord them. I hate being put in a box. I hate genuine racism. These things will make me lose control. 

I expect my friends to push themselves. It isn't acceptable to bitch and whine. It isnt acceptable to lie and make excuses. It isn't acceptable to be on the phone when we've arranged to meet. It's insolent. 

On this point I have SO MANY that I'm not going to right them all down. The general gist is there.

The point is not to copy my answers but to find out what yours are...

Go go gadget girl! Start a revolution!